


Beautifully Complex

by thatdamnuchiha



Series: In the Company of Elves [22]
Category: Naruto, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, BAMF Haruno Sakura, Because She's Not Sakura, Confusion, Crossover, F/M, Haruno Sakura Deserves Better, Haruno Sakura-centric, Hurt Haruno Sakura, Hurt/Comfort, In Which Sakura Struggles To Piece Together What Happened, Loss of Identity, Memory Loss, POV Haruno Sakura, POV Third Person, Rare Pairings, Repressed Memories, Rivendell | Imladris, Sakura Doesn't Know Who She Is Anymore, She's Just Been Living As Her, Slow To Update, Somewhat, Strong Haruno Sakura, Third Age, mentions of the first age, sakura is confused
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:47:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29291604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatdamnuchiha/pseuds/thatdamnuchiha
Summary: In the months after the war is over, she starts to have strange dreams. The kinds which only become more vivid as time goes on – until one night they’re not just dreams.The truth is both simple and yet incredibly hard to believe: there is no such thing as Outer Sakura and Inner Sakura, rather there has always only been, and will only ever be one Sakura, just with something else latched to her mind.And it’s not her who’s Haruno Sakura.
Relationships: Glorfindel (Tolkien)/Haruno Sakura, Haruno Sakura & Original Character(s)
Series: In the Company of Elves [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1430875
Comments: 10
Kudos: 80





	Beautifully Complex

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TekoloKuautli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TekoloKuautli/gifts).



> AN 1: Oops. There goes my self control for posting works up... but really, I'd just be working on them in the background and then you'd get no new content for any works for a while - hence why I think I might as well put this up.
> 
> AN 2: There (may) be angst in this work, so if you're not a fan of my style of angst, or you've read too much of SFBV or WWC and feel angst-ed out, then take caution. DO NOT SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU OR COMPLAIN ABOUT ALL MY WORKS BEING TOO 'ANGSTY' AND 'ALL THE SAME'. Because I will bite. Sakura be a hurt bunny in this, who's very confused as to who in the seven hells she is, because missing memories and the like, meaning there be themes regarding this. (As well as Glorfindel being horribly in love and the like...)
> 
> AN 3: This aims to have long chapters, with the first being about the baseline I hope to have for the chapter counts for this fic - so, in other words, these are long chapters for me, verging on monster length for me and my standards, because my max is roughly 7000 words (take Armour-Sleeved Single Hit as this example) and this is just over 6k worth. So... like... slow updates, but hopefully they'll be worth the wait.
> 
> AN 4: TekoloKuautli, you gave me a gift, and it was the first one I ever received and I got very, very excited and happy because I'm a bit of a sap, so here's one for you with that pairing we both seem to be stuck on. Sadly there's no dragon!Sakura in this because I don't want to overdo that idea too much with all the same sorts of plot, but this idea spawned and yeah... 
> 
> AN 5: Enjoy.

It was difficult to pinpoint the exact night it had all started. The days had seemed to blur into one by that point in time, what with the need to find a routine of some sorts to always remember that the war was behind her now. _To remember that the camp wasn’t being ambushed and that enemies weren’t hidden among them, wearing their faces and chakras_. Part of her was crushed with what had become of her teammates and herself – Uchiha Sasuke was gone, wandering about outside the Village Hidden in the Leaves on a quest to find himself, and Uzumaki Naruto was readying with his studies for all he needed to know when he took up the hat. Sakura was just _there._ Tsunade popped back every few months, long since having passed the hat onto Kakashi, and the hospital duties onto her. Of course, she had been prepared for taking up the role of Head of Hospital. She had been preparing for such a thing since she had agreed to be Tsunade’s apprentice, and she had been excited to take up such a responsibility.

But some small part of her could hardly deny the fact she was _bored._ War had, in some terrible way, excited her, despite the mass casualties and lives forever lost within its greedy clutches. _Despite the scars it had left upon her and everyone else left behind after the chaos and death_. Ino had changed after that, after the death of her father. Her smile had become just a bit more brittle, her eyes carrying a weight Sakura couldn’t exactly relate to. Both her parents were alive and well, and there was just this terrible sense of illogical guilt whenever she thought on that fact. She couldn’t call her _pig_ like everything was fine and normal, no matter how much Ino called her _forehead_ as though she wanted her to reciprocate the insult with the own she had used so liberally only a short while before.

Every day she wondered over how to interact with all her friends – all of whom felt like they had lost something terrible while she had swanned through it with no reparations whatsoever. _Lucky._ That was what they called her when they thought she couldn’t hear, caught up in traumas of their own, jealousy licking in their eyes like the embers of flame whenever they caught her out and about with those closest to her. _The people who were all still alive_. She wondered if any of them resented her when she ventured over on Friday nights to eat with her parents, just as they had done before the war had gone into full swing. She wondered if anyone actually cared for the tears she had shed over the crumpled corpses of those she – with all her skills – hadn’t been able to save.

She didn’t think they would. After all, they were just meant to be strangers to her, without that emotional connection family and friends had. Unlike war though, she never stopped losing patients, but perhaps that was because she was always assigned the hardest ones. The ones on the brink of death which none bar Tsunade’s apprentice would be able to heal.

Breaking the news to the family of the dead patient was the worst.

Though she hardly wanted to bring up the mention of that kind of trauma to those who stared at her with jealousy, yet still called her a friend. It was so very confusing and disheartening sometimes. Sakura supposed that was shinobi life in a nutshell.

It was a day like that, one of many amidst the blur of sadness, joy, and pain, which had brought her to collapsing onto her bed and drifting off into a deep, relaxing sleep. Rest was that which she needed, and that which she had earned many times before. Only something was different that time she slept, though she didn’t quite realise such a fact until she woke up as Haruno Sakura once more.

Because when she went to sleep, she didn’t quite wake up where she was meant to the first time around. _An odd dream,_ or so she had thought after she had woken up and drunk some strong coffee, preparing for the day ahead the only way she knew how.

* * *

She came to staring at a ceiling she didn’t recognise. That fact in itself was unnerving, because Sakura was fairly certain she had gone to bed in her room, in her little apartment, under the paint-peeling ceiling she was well accustomed to. _Not a fine, tall ceiling._ She felt… heavy, oddly enough, weighed down and sluggish.

A groan slipped from her lips, head aching like she had ten gallons of drink in her system without filtering it out via Tsunade’s special technique. She was on her side luckily enough, though she didn’t quite feel the urge to throw up. Though that was hardly surprising, considering she hadn’t drunk a single drop of liquor the evening previous. _Then again, it wasn’t her ceiling she was lying underneath for some strange reason._ Sakura could only think it a dream. That was the only explanation which made sense. More so, given the fact she remembered rather literally going to sleep before she had ended up there in that bizarre dream.

_Besides,_ she mused, pressing her face into the sinfully comfortable pillow, _she certainly deserved a good dream after all the nightmares she’d been having over the previous months._

She rolled over, breathing in the delectable scent of sandalwood which seemed to stain everything around her. It was a nice scent. She liked it – it wasn’t too overpowering, rather, it was comforting and soothing for reasons she couldn’t quite place right then and there.

Something heavy lay over her waist, pinning her down somewhat. It hardly helped that her muscles seemed to be limp noodles. Sakura wondered if that was what being a civilian rather than the fighter she was felt like. She couldn’t help but wonder why she was dreaming of being so civilian-like… _Perhaps to escape the madness of a shinobi life?_ Sakura could only ponder on such thoughts, even as she stared down at the arm slung over her waist.

It was broad, well-muscled, pale-skinned yet gleaming ever so softly in the moonlight which seeped through the window by the bedside. Sakura turned then, onto her other side, blinking calmly at the sight with which she was met with. _Though she could probably attribute such a thing to the bizarre, yet delightful dream she was having at that moment in time._ The face set before her had not a blemish or freckle in sight, only smooth, marble-like skin which was so eerily _perfect_ – for lack of better words to describe the sight – that it sent shivers rolling down her spine. Golden hair flowed perfectly straight, and by the gods there was a lot of it. One could almost mistake it for threads of gold finely spun. Those golden locks pooled on the pillow beneath his head like a puddle of gold – and Sakura could only tell that the one before her was male thanks to the gloriously exposed chest on display but a scant few inches away from her face.

Sakura blinked, registering the open grey eyes which seemed to glimmer with light – though they weren’t focused on anything in particular. He was staring off into the distance, even as she blinked at him in confusion. The features on his face were fine, and Sakura thought she could describe the male before her as being _fey-like_ , what with bewitching good looks and ears which were undeniably pointed. _A strange clan trait for her to imagine…_

They looked strange and undeniably _foreign_ to her eyes, and Sakura could only find herself reaching out slowly with one hand. Her fingers were horribly soft and smooth as they touched that odd, pointed ear, tracing the unfamiliar shape. Sakura wondered _why_ she was dreaming of such a strange thing. _If she was going to have dreams of her being in bed with someone, then why in the four winds was she dreaming of a hot blonde fey-like stranger rather than Sasuke?_ But it was certainly nicer than a nightmare, so Sakura supposed she’d take what she got.

A warm hand closed around her own, but her body was too stiff and slow to startle properly as the hot blonde stranger chuckled. “Why are you up so late, love?” he murmured, and Sakura could only wonder if this was some sort of wet dream of hers as lips brushed the backs of her knuckles then. “You should get some more rest,” he said, blinking slowly then, letting go of her hand to tuck fallen strands of pink hair back behind her ear. His hands were calloused. Sakura supposed she ought to have expected that. _What with the muscles… and the abs… and the faint scars she could just about see…_ A fighter of some description. “Sleep, Lothris. You need your rest.”

Sakura blinked, a soft huff of air leaving her as she found herself being pulled into that bare chest. _Warm._ She closed her eyes then, not really being able to squirm from the grasp of her apparent partner her addled brain had cooked up. She didn’t like the feeling of weakness lingering inside her body in that dream – so she closed her eyes once more, snuggling into that chest as she drifted back off to sleep.

_All in all, it was a rather terrible wet dream which probably didn’t deserve to be classified as such._

* * *

The alarm cut through her blissful rest with a noisy beep she so hated. _But it wasn’t like she had money to waste on such frivolities like replacing her alarm._ The better half of her consciousness she liked to call _Inner_ agreed with her there. Despite having such a high position in the medical field, it hardly paid particularly well – what with it being one of the departments with less funds directed its way. It was a problem Tsunade had tried to fix in her tenure, and Sakura liked to think she’d made headway, but Kakashi didn’t quite have the same priorities as her master.

So long hours and little pay it was, made all the worse by the fact she couldn’t really go outside on a mission to supplement her pay. Part of her debated on asking Kakashi to pay attention to the budget if he could, given the alliance between all great nations which would reduce the amount of scuffles. The larger part of her refused, if only because she didn’t want to seem ungrateful for that which she had. She made enough to get by, and that was plenty for her at that current moment in time. She didn’t need any more money, unless she felt like moving out of the little ramshackle apartment so close to the hospital.

“Forehead!”

Sakura blinked as the unexpected knock came on her door moments after the accompanying shout, a sigh escaping her as she hurried over to greet her friend while her excuse of a breakfast heated itself up, and the water boiled in the kettle. “Pig,” she mumbled in greeting, the word sounding hollow and lacking the playfulness of her friend’s childish insult, along with being utterly inaudible to her dear friend standing on her doorstep, and she could only rub her sore eyes at the sudden influx of light as she opened the door. “What’s the matter?”

Ino blinked at her then, looking her up and down, from head to toe, eyes narrowing on her face as she digested the admittedly probably terrible sight before her. _Sakura didn’t even need to look in a mirror to acknowledge that much_. “You look like death warmed up,” she said, and Sakura could only snort at Ino’s bluntness even as she heard the kettle click off behind her, signalling she ought to be getting a move on if she wanted to make it on time for work. Sakura hated being late with a passion.

“Nice to see you too,” she murmured dryly, yawning as she went back inside, Ino following her into her measly apartment without even an invitation. _But Ino always did stuff like that, and Sakura had used to when she went over to Ino’s place…_ Not that she went there very much nowadays. They had been best friends turned rivals turned whatever the hell they were now. “But I have to be off to the hospital soon,” she said, munching on the snack bar she had picked up as supplementary rations. It didn’t taste particularly nice, but it would see her through until she managed to get her break. Something she would hopefully get so long as there weren’t any complications or emergency patients who required her level of skill.

“You’re working today?” Ino asked, an incredulous expression on her face. “You haven’t taken a day off in months, Forehead!”

Sakura sighed, shrugging then as she chewed on her food. “There’s work which needs to be done, and the hospital doesn’t pay as much as I’d like…”

Ino frowned. “So take some supplementary missions then,” she said, as though it were an obvious thing.

“I can’t,” Sakura grumbled, carding one hand through her admittedly rather greasy hair. She really needed a shower. _But there was barely enough time for such rituals_. “I’m Head of Hospital now, Pig… There’s legislation which prevents me from leaving the village, and the Sixth isn’t as lenient as the Third…”

“Damn…” Ino mumbled, trailing off, seemingly wracking her brains for another solution to her money problem but evidently coming up empty. Though she doubted Ino would have been able to find a solution she couldn’t. She was the desperate one, after all. Though her mother always did sau a fresh pair of eyes sometimes worked wonders. “No wonder your place is such a dump…”

“Rude. Ouch,” Sakura said, shoulders sinking then as she acknowledged those words. Really, there was no way to defend her ramshackle home – it was the furthest thing from beautiful. “But true. Unfortunately true…”

* * *

Sakura very much wanted to know why she seemingly had an obsession with dreaming about lying in bed with one particular hot blonde fey-like stranger. The first one she had written off as a strange happenstance. The second one was a coincidence, perhaps from her taking a liking to the aesthetics which were _that chest_ and those ridiculously _pretty golden locks._ The third dream… that was when that nervous sensation in her gut started up and she went over everything possible. _It wasn’t a dream-based, long range illusion –_ she had checked, though she didn’t quite see how having her silently drool over some fantasy would weaken Konoha. Rather, they helped because she was getting _more_ sleep.

“Forehead!” Ino’s voice broke through her reverie. “What’s with that look on your face? You only get that when there’s boys involved.” Sakura blinked, shivers rolling down her spine as Ino looked at her pointedly, teeth bared in a sharp grin.

“It’s nothing,” she mumbled, shaking her head then. “I just need more sleep.”

Ino snorted. “Don’t we all?” she muttered, a terrifying smile still set on her lips still. “But still, who’s the guy on your mind right now? I can tell you’re thinking of a boy…”

Sakura sighed, a slight flush coming to rest in her cheeks. “It’s nothing – really, Ino,” she said, sitting back with a huff as they sat in a pretty little café Ino had chosen out for their ‘date’ out. Though Ino had called it _breaking her out of the hospital day._ Apparently she was a slave to her work. Ino had apparently been freeing her, and her staff had allowed it for some reason she couldn’t quite fathom. “Just been having some weird dreams as of late.”

“Oh ho.” Ino waggled her eyebrows. “Do tell…”

“It’s nothing!”

Ino smirked. “Forehead, your cheeks are red – it’s something!” she declared, and Sakura felt her face heat up that much more at how obvious she must have seemed. “Are you finally dreaming of you and Sasuke and your _future_ together?”

* * *

_Who are you?_

Was what Sakura wanted to ask whenever she spotted him there at night, lying beside her. But that would be a stupid question. He was obviously a product of her imagination. There was nothing else he could be. _Though it would probably be nice if he existed, if only to save her from the loneliness which threatened to consume her all too much in her waking hours._

Sasuke was busy off on his quest to redeem himself. _Sakura didn’t know why he couldn’t come home in between._ Sakura ignored the whispered words of Inner that _he didn’t love them enough to._ Of course Konoha would be full of painful memories, and what’s more there were those two elders who had served along Danzo. Two elders who were suspected, though never outright accused, of knowing what Danzo had been doing _and letting it happen_.

Naruto hadn’t wanted to start anything, because the _past_ was meant to be in the _past_ and _everyone_ could change going forwards. She had seen him sometimes with Hinata at the ramen place they had all used to frequent when they had been a team. Other than that though, he was busy, what with being a shoe-in for the title and role of Hokage.

“Lothris?” the sleepy _sexy_ voice – or so she thought, completely and utterly controlled by her lizard hindbrain – sounded, and Sakura could only smile at the golden stranger who she had dreamed of far too often. “Is something the matter?”

Fingers brushed over her cheek, and Sakura only sighed and pressed her face into the palm of his large hand. Silvery grey eyes stared down at her, confusion, longing, and some other emotion just about present in there depths. It was oddly eerie how she could decipher such a stare. Sakura didn’t quite know how to explain it, just like she didn’t quite understand why she felt so very safe and relaxed in the presence of _him_ – whatever his name was. She blamed it on the dream, because she never quite felt safe in Konoha. It was something to the lifestyle of a glorified mercenary – never knowing when your enemies would appear to take revenge, start a war, stab you while you slept, or something alike.

“How I wish I could talk with you…” he murmured then, frustration and tears appearing as he spoke, and Sakura startled at the sight. “How I wish I could hear your sweet voice… yet _he_ took that away from you along with everything else…”

Her brow crinkled, questions rattling around in her brain, and yet she couldn’t get her mouth to work. She felt eerily like a passenger in her own body. _Or was it some ‘dream’ body?_ Sakura didn’t know how to describe it all.

“Ignore my ramblings, Lothris,” he mumbled, fingers carding in her pink locks then. “I just wish I could have met you before this tragedy… though I doubt you would have given me the time of day…” His fingers traced the slight wrinkle her frown had wrought on her brow. “Relax, love,” he whispered then. “Ignore my ill thought words. I should not have said them, nor made you look so very worried. You ought to get some sleep… perhaps everything will be better on the morn…”

Sakura blinked, peering up at him as she found herself tucked against that warm chest – which she was really becoming too familiar with for comfort – before she felt a wave of tiredness overcome her then.

Tired in a dream.

She could’ve laughed at the irony.

* * *

“I thought you were on a diet, Pig,” she mumbled, feeling worriedly exhausted as Ino dragged her into the little cake shop. The dreams were eating at her, ripping into her and feeling like they were tearing her apart piece by piece because she didn’t understand _why_ she kept dreaming of the same thing over and over again.

Just the other day she had looked at a recent picture of Sasuke and thought he wasn’t as nice as her golden-haired stranger. _She was comparing Sasuke to some figment of her imagination._ Likely what she thought the ideal partner for her was. _But that didn’t explain why he was blonde – blonde like Naruto._ Though Sakura loathed to compare her golden-haired beauty to Naruto. The hair she dreamt of was so very fine, the strands so very long and silky to the touch.

The vividness of her dreams concerned the small, paranoid part of her, while the rest of her basked in those oddly realistic dreams. _Well, if one discounted to pointed ears and the general strangeness which lingered around like a bad smell._

“We both need a break,” Ino said curtly, pointing a fork at her as they waited for their cakes to be delivered to their little table which gave the best view of the shop for Sakura. She was always so terribly conscious of those around her. _Paranoia,_ as Kakashi would call it. Just another part of being a shinobi of course. “Your eyebags are almost as bad as mine, and I’ve been working _hard,_ ” Ino declared, staring at her then. “You sure you’re OK? Not pulling too many shifts at the hospital?” she asked, looking so very worried that Sakura felt terrible for keeping the odd dreams from her dear friend.

But they were just dreams – no source of odd chakra invading – nothing in her mind to explain what exactly was going on. She had an uncanny resistance to all jutsu attacking the mind. Both Inoichi, before he passed, and Ino had noted it. She was more aware of genjutsu than most thanks to that little fact. So it was practically impossible for it to be some form of attack.

Besides, everyone had more things to worry about than her _silly_ dreams.

“I’m fine,” she said, smiling then, relaxing as Ino herself relaxed.

“Good,” Ino said with a smile to match her own as they sat there, waiting on their delectable cake to arrive. “Now, time for gossip, so do tell me, have you heard from your beloved teammate recently…?”

* * *

_~~You can mar my body, torture me, try to break my mind, but my soul will forever be untouched by your hands.~~ _

* * *

It was on the eighth consecutive night of those dreams when she was finally able to catch sight of her reflection in the dream.

There was a mirror in the bathing room, adjacent to the bedroom where she spent so much time in within those delightfully strange dreams. She found it then when she woke up _alone_ in the bedroom. Nervousness boiled in her belly at the realisation that the golden-haired male she had grown so very used to had vanished seemingly into thin air. _It was her dream, and she wanted him there—so why wasn’t he?_

It was an irrational nervousness she couldn’t quite understand or dispel, and so she ventured into the bathroom, intent on finding something with which to occupy herself. Her steps felt heavy, heavier than they should have been, considering she was shinobi rather than civilian, and they naturally had very light footsteps thanks to their training. It was always something to consider when one went undercover. A shinobi’s walk could give them away far too easily. Though she didn’t have a shinobi’s footsteps.

Her feet felt like they were slapping against the tiles as she pulled herself towards the bathing room and that mirror she wanted. She felt heavy, tired, which Sakura supposed she could say the same of in real life. She was too tired as of late, and almost everyone around her had noticed. Sakura wished there would be some sort of quick fix to solve the entire problem – but sadly, there wasn’t seeming to be one, and Sakura could only explore that strange world her brain had created as something of an escape.

She could feel the tile beneath her feet, cold and smooth, hard beneath her knees as she sunk to them before the reflective surface set before her. Fingers pressed against the cool surface, green eyes staring at the strangeness of the being reflected back at her.

Skin pale gleaming softly in the light of the moon as it flooded in through the open doorway. Heart-shaped face. Slightly upturned nose at the end. Features slightly more petite and delicate than what she was used to. No diamond marring her brow.

A face unfamiliar to her.

Yet she recognised it so, in some distant part of her brain. Sakura could only wonder why – why there was such a war within her mind as she stared at her dream self in the mirror, all the while wondering why she looked as she did. If it were a dream, it made more sense to look like herself, albeit with very pointy ears.

She looked as elfin and fey-like as the golden stranger. _Made to match,_ part of her dimly mused as she pressed her hands against the mirror, fascinated and stumped by her odd dream appearance even as a shadow fell over her then.

“Lothris!” her golden stranger cried, relief flooding his face as he crouched down to greet her then. “What are you doing in here?” he asked, seemingly not expecting an answer. He thought she couldn’t talk for some reason. That much she had worked out. She had tried to speak at times, but the words never left her except when she was alone – but they were strange. Words sounded different to her ears for some reason, a simple ‘welcome home’ not able to leave her lips sounding correct. She sounded as though she had a lisp whenever she tried to practice her speaking on the occasion where she was alone in those dreams.

She stared up at the blonde she was coming to like more and more as she dreamed of him more and more. He was so very earnest and oddly pure, especially given he hadn’t lain a hand on her in _that_ way, always so content to snuggle with her and talk more _at_ her than with her. Sakura didn’t mind that though – the sound of his voice was nice, and she seemed incapable of proper speech there. _Though she was working to change that, if only to make her odd dream that much more interesting._ A smile pulled at her lips, oddly fond and happy as she stared into those grey eyes which always managed to convey so much.

Part of her wondered if hanging around Sasuke so much had helped with her interpretation of all things unsaid. _Not that Sasuke said much, either in words or his expression, though she liked to think his was fond whenever he stared at her so._ “I am sorry to have left you for so long,” he murmured, fingers running over her cheek before he pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Duty called, but I am back now, love,” he said, lifting her up from the ground then, sweeping her up into his arms. “I trust your brothers have looked after you in my place…”

Sakura blinked, head flopping lazily against his warm shoulder. _Her body there felt so cumbersome and stiff for some reason she hadn’t been able to work out._ Then again, it was a dream, so there was probably just some subconscious desire there. Once, long ago, she had longed for siblings of her own. _But that had never happened._

“Come,” her blonde _beloved_ ordered, as though she were somewhere else but his arms. “It is a lovely evening, and the balcony is calling, I think…”

* * *

She heard it sometimes, the same words repeated over and over again, when she went to sleep. “You can mar my body, torture me, try to break my mind, but my soul will forever be untouched by your hands,” the voice said without a tremble, despite what the words implied. She was a shinobi, she could read the subtext, and what terrifying subtext there was in that statement.

Though the weirdest thing had to be the fact the voice sounded like her own.

* * *

It was funny, in hindsight, how much of her time was occupied by the dreams or her thoughts about those dreams. They were just so odd and strangely dreamy sometimes, because the hot blonde stranger – or so she had dubbed him for lack of any other name coming to mind – was both kind and caring whenever he featured in her dreams.

Truly, he was the opposite of Sasuke, and Sakura found herself questioning herself once more because— _because she had stayed so very loyal to Sasuke all this time, and yet it was only now her affections were waning._ Sakura didn’t know how she felt about it. _That was a lie, she knew she felt as though she were betraying him._ But all the blame for her waning affections could probably be lain at the feet of those dreams. Of that hot blonde stranger who was so very sweet and loving yet not wanting her _in that way_ because she was seemingly ill or critically injured in her dreams.

Sakura only wondered what that said about her. _Not that anyone would ever know, if she had her way._

* * *

“I will return,” her golden warrior promised, and Sakura could only blink dumbly at him as he stood before her, decked in fancy armour, looking as though he were about to head off to war. Dimly, Sakura realised that was _exactly_ what was going on, even as she was pulled into an almost crushing hug. “This I promise you,” he continued, closing his eyes as he pressed his brow against her own. “I will bring your brothers back with me too, and we will see each other again in this world, fear not…”

He stepped back then, a solemn smile on his lips, before he turned sharply then, leaving through the door as shinobi so often didn’t. _They preferred windows, because they were odd ducks in the eyes of civilians who always used doors_.

“Come sister,” a voice sounded then, and Sakura turned to find what had to be her brother, green-eyed and silvery haired. His arm came around her shoulders, guiding her to a sofa then. “He will return, do not worry so… He is likely the mightiest warrior there is in this age…” His expression turned darker then, sorrow and sadness creeping into his face as he stared at her then, even as she sat down. “Glorfindel will return, and he will bring Nírorn and Alagon with him…”

* * *

“Lothris,” a familiar voice came, even as large hands shook at her shoulders gently. “Lothris, wake up,” her hot blonde stranger said, voice so very urgent and demanding.

A groan escaped her, coming out as a pitiful moan leaving her lips, even as she cracked open her eyes to stare up at her hot blonde stranger. _Stranger didn’t feel like the right word to describe him anymore._

The back of his hand rested against her forehead, strangely cold to her touch, golden eyebrows drawn into a frown. “Do the healers know what is causing this?” came the voice she just about recognised – the voice of her brother, even if there were two more unfamiliar people in the room with her. “I do not think she should travel in this state…” her brother said, silvery brows drawn together, nervousness, worry, and fear drawn on his face then as he stared down at her from where he stood at her bedside.

“We are moving to Imladris,” her blonde declared. “I will follow Lord Elrond from now onwards, until it comes time for me to sail, and besides, he is the best hope we have for Lothris, lest you wish to make her sail over the sea sooner, and you’ve said how well she reacted last time…”

One of the people she didn’t recognise pinched the bridge of their nose and sighed.

* * *

Waking up on a horse was an oddly novel experience. Though the fact she was missing her hot blonde stranger worried her, even if the armoured lady she was riding with smiled kindly at her. From what the lady, her apparent escort in place of one of the few she was familiar with in that dream world, said they were headed to a place called Imladris. The name she recognised from one of her earlier dreams in the week.

Truly, she marvelled at how her subconscious seemingly kept all these details in mind while Ino was busy dreaming of snogging Sai and marrying him which didn’t sound as though they made for as an elaborate storyline as her own dreams were following.

The hairs on the back of her neck prickled, and Sakura sat straight up as the cry of ‘Ambush!’ resounded through the air. She was well in the centre of the formation, so very well defended, yet one odd creature wielding a rusted blade still made it through amidst the chaos of fighting after the initial surprise assault.

She kicked its head clean off with a satisfied hum, even as the lady she was riding with gaped in horror.

* * *

“So you’re finally here?”

Sakura stiffened as she stared at the blank darkness which seemed to stretch out in all directions. It was a place she vaguely recognised, having stumbled into it when Ino had launched her mental attack all those years ago in the chunin exams.

“Inner,” she mumbled, staring at the oddly lifelike figure standing just a ways in front of her, frowning at her then. “What do you mean, _finally?”_ she asked, tilting her head as she stood there in that eerie darkness.

“Don’t you see?” Inner Sakura questioned, tilting her head then, short pink locks swaying in the non-existent breeze of the innermost depths of her mind. Or so she thought they were – that was the only place Inner could materialise, and even then, not once had Sakura met her in that form.

A mirror winked into existence, looking as though it were glowing in that dark place, and Sakura could only stumble forwards, oddly transfixed by the sight of the fancily wrought mirror. It was something she would never be able to afford for a good long while, but that didn’t mean it was any less beautiful.

“Look,” Inner Sakura ordered.

Sakura looked, staring into the mirror, and the reflection she could see there. Her brow wrinkled, and the face staring back at her did the same. The same face she had seen only once before, because it wasn’t the face she stared back at her each morning whenever she went into the tiny bathroom. Eyes which angled differently, spaced slightly closer together, with lashes longer than she had ever been able to achieve with mascara or the like. Bow-shaped lips of a darker shade of pink than she was used to. A nose which was slimmer and curved ever so slightly upwards at the point. Cheeks smooth and lacking the slight roughness of the ones she’d had before. Pale skin which seemed to glow, as if moonlight had been trapped within. Eyebrows thinner and more arched. The differences weren’t unnoticeable. Rather they were the opposite.

The most damning change though were her ears: the helix longer, finishing with a point. _Leaf shaped._ She had leaf-shaped ears.

“What?” she mumbled, staring at her reflection then, eyes darting between it and Inner Sakura like pinballs. For all that they had dubbed themselves Inner and Outer Sakura they looked nothing alike. She swallowed, throat suddenly feeling incredibly dry as she tried to piece together what exactly was going on right then and there.

“Everything’s going back to the way it’s meant to be,” Inner Sakura said, smiling then as she knelt down beside her confused form as she remained sat before the mirror. Her eyes darted between Inner Sakura and her own reflection, completely and utterly confused at the sight of them both – because Inner Sakura looked more like Haruno Sakura than she, and Sakura… she didn’t know what—“It’s time to wake up, _Lothris…_ ”

* * *

Sakura sat up with a start, eyes widening when she didn’t see the familiar paint peeling ceiling above her, nor the all too familiar sight of the on-call room. Her stomach roiled, her breath coming in gasps at how clear everything seemed, _at_ _how very real everything suddenly seemed when before it had just been some dream._ A fantasy. An imaginary world to escape the loneliness and quietness of her own life. A place where she had been but a passenger in the strange body which had once seemed so alien, foreign, and yet undeniably familiar.

She retched over the bedsheets, emptying the contents of her stomach, whimpering at the sight of blackish blood which stained the sheets she quickly began to scramble out from under. It smelt horrible – foul, and it still dribbled from her lips as she tumbled from the bed, sheets twisted up in her legs.

Her limbs felt awkward then, sensitive and coltish as she dragged herself to sit in front of the mirror. Fingers brushed against the cool, reflective surface, and the face which stared back at her was the same one she had seen before. The same one Inner Sakura had said to be her own. The same face which belonged to Lothris.

Sakura didn’t quite know what to make of that, the odd numbness inside her feeling as though it were a cavernous maw gaping wide to swallow her whole as she sat and stared at the familiar stranger in the mirror.

Dimly, far off in the distance, she heard a wail.

It took a few minutes for her to work out it was her own.

* * *

_~~My… Is that a challenge?~~ _

**Author's Note:**

> SPORADIC UPDATES T_T


End file.
